letter #23
i. When I got back from the eyebrow salon I said, ‘Do you see how it lifts my eyes and opens my face?’ because that’s what the eyebrow lady said to me. The mister said, ‘Shouldn’t it be the other way around?’
ii. ‘Would you like a hydro boost sleeping mask?’ I asked the mister when we were Easter camping. It was a cheap one I’d bought at the supermarket so I could afford to share. ‘Deeply moisturises while you sleep leaving you optimally hydrated.’
‘I’ll give it a miss,’ he said.
I persisted until he gave in and he applied the lightest application of hydro boost sleeping mask it is possible to apply without not applying it.
iii. i+ii makes it sound like I know a lot about cosmetics, but I am always astounded at how much other people seem to know and I wonder where they have learnt it. French plaits and unchipped nail polish. These things amaze me.
iv. I was too busy to get onto my sevens last week and I’ve got a bit on this week too so I’m stalled at sixes. I guess that’s how I’ve come to be of this age and still not able to multiply with ease. I have never prioritised it. Like learning how to apply nailpolish that doesn’t cover your cuticles.
v. Last week I mentioned, Alison Croggon’s Monsters. I’ve read a lot more of it now, and I do recommend it most highly. It is not an easy read in either style or subject. From the back cover: “Monsters is a hybrid of memoir and essay that takes as its point of departure the painful breakdown of a relationship between two sisters. It explores how our attitudes are shaped by the persisting myths that underpin colonialism and patriarchy … "
Reading her theatre criticism, I have always found Alison Croggon to be a somewhat (highly) intimidating person who lives in that realm of intellect which I can see but know I can never reach. She writes a kind of criticism I admire, with honesty but without arrogance. Because she is also a practicing theatre practitioner I feel that her criticism reflects a belief in the quality her own work…because surely you could not be so honest in your criticism if you did not have faith in your own work. By faith in your work, I don’t mean in the outcome, but in the application. Knowing that you have worked hard and honestly, creating the best work that you know how to create. (Of course, I’m sure she, like all artists is uncertain about her work when she lets it out into the world, but I hope that you can see here the distinction I’m making between outcome and application. If you can trust yourself that you have put in the work, then external responses to the work become less important.). As someone who has always struggled with application it is a trait I admire.
I hasten to add here, that I don’t know her at all and although she is friends with friends on facebook, I have never had any direct interaction with Alison Croggon, this is only my (increasingly long-winded) interpretation. And I could be extremely far from the truth. (Coincidentally, I went to get a glass of water after writing that sentence and when I came back to my desk I picked up the book to read the next chapter and when I turned the page, read this: “To be perceived by another is to be misrepresented. It’s only a matter of degree.”) But I feel it’s an interpretation borne out by Monsters. In examining what has gone wrong, she does not let herself off the hook.
She begins by excavating her family history and airing her dirty laundry. (‘Excavating’ in this context such a cliche, I’m sorry, but sometimes there is nothing more perfect than a cliche). If intergenerational trauma is a truth (and I believe that it is), then why would the descendants of colonisers and oppressors not still carry their ancestors’ psychologies? This is an uncomfortable reckoning for us bleeding hearts. So yeah, not an easy read.
vi. ‘I Know I’ll Never Find Another You’ was the overwhelming favourite song of The Seekers. What’s your favourite INXS song? Mine is ‘Don’t Change’, but The Audreys cover of it.
vii. Until next time in this infrequent and irregular form, I send you every love, Tracy xx